Christmas lunch..

My friend Nicky pointed out this gem to me, as found in yesterday's Age, Epicure section:

On Christmas Lunch with my Mother-In-Law

Today’s Menu

Plaintive Russian eggs shivering under depressed salmon slices
Darkly brooding cabbage salad
Cold gutted fish garnished with piquant complaints

Dry-tortured cool turkey roast spiced with dejection and futility
Despondent veal rolls stuffed with apathetic carrots and gloom-pickled cucumbers
in a lumpy ill tempered gravy
Inconsolably weeping pumpkin wrinkles and
Twice-overdried stony-hearted potatoes

Resentful cheesecake in a mango morass of despair

Bleak coffee

Author: milonguera

Found here.